What comes to mind when you think of networking? In a recent poll on Uncommon’s Instagram, we asked our audience to describe how they felt about networking in one word. Although the majority recognized that it was beneficial (85%), nearly half found networking to be “awkward” (48%).

This aversion to networking is a common sentiment: A study by Harvard Business School professor Francesca Gino even reveals that networking makes people feel “dirty”. According to the study, the mere thought of networking made the respondents feel so unclean that they started subconsciously craving cleansing products.

While many of us recognise the benefits of cultivating a professional network, the reality is that it doesn’t come naturally to many people. Instead, the opposite happens: we tend to dread or feel averse to traditional notions of networking, such as attending conferences or networking events.  There’s no denying that building a professional network is essential for our career growth, so how can we make it a positive experience? 

In our recent webinar titled “Reframing Networking: Practical advice for people who hate networking” guest speaker Abam Mambo and Uncommon’s founder Yolanda Lee offer a fresh take on networking and share effective ways you can build your network. Below, we round up some of the best takeaways and tips from the discussion.

The “networking gap” – why networking (as we know it) fails women

There’s no denying that networking matters. The phrase “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” might be a cliche, but it’s true. Having a strong professional network is inarguably good for you and your career: it can give you access to better job opportunities, introduce you to new ideas, and help you grow through the exchange of knowledge.  

However, studies have shown that women have weaker networks. According to a LinkedIn survey, the gender network gap holds true across every country; in the US, women are 28% less likely than men to have a strong network. This lack of valuable networks has been cited as one of the key causes of the gender gap at work. This networking gap is problematic because it disproportionately holds women back: a weaker network means less access to job opportunities. 

Women are over-mentored and under-sponsored.  When averaged across all industries, less than 30% of women reach senior leadership level, with even fewer at the Executive Committee level. At the C-Suite, women make up less than 8% of boards. A key reason why women lag behind in leadership is that they are less likely to have extensive networks to support and promote them as potential leaders. Despite well-intentioned DEI initiatives and networking opportunities, too few women are reaching the top of their organizations. The problem is not a lack of female talent to fulfill these roles, but that there are too few people supporting and battling for them to get there.

As such, women aren’t getting high stake assignments required for a shot at C-Suite. A big reason is that they are not getting the high-stakes assignments that are prerequisites for a shot at the C-suite. Often, this is due to a lack of powerful sponsors demanding and ensuring that they get these stepping-stone jobs.

“According to a LinkedIn survey, the gender network gap holds true across every country; in the US, women are 28% less likely than men to have a strong network. This lack of valuable networks has been cited as one of the key causes of the gender gap at work.”

Practical ways to build and cultivate your network 

While many of us hesitate to network, there are ways to build professional relationships in a way that feels authentic to you and non-transactional. In the webinar, Abam encourages women to get away from viewing networking as this “big, scary and formal” thing. Instead, play to your strengths and recognize that networking is about building genuine relationships. It can happen anywhere, on your terms–beyond the classic business card swapping at conferences. 

Here are a few ways you can rethink networking, plus some actionable tips to grow your network: 

1. Networking is not a numbers game. What's more important is the quality and strength of your social connections. Instead of swapping business cards with people who have no relevance to you, think about connecting with those in a similar life stage or aspiration to you. At Uncommon, we try to be far more relevant and targeted with our community network sessions, whether that’s an industry huddle or a topic-led workshop.

2. Lead with generosity. People automatically have their guard up when you approach them with an ask. Instead, lead with generosity: this could involve a simple 'thank you', showing up for an event or project that is important to them, or even offering a valuable introduction to someone. Networking is about building genuine relationships, and people are more likely to reciprocate that generosity down the line.

3. Instead of mentors, think about building your own personal "board of advisors". Ideally, your board of advisors should be individuals in a similar career and life stage as you. Rather than building a random pool of acquaintances or seeking mentors who may be further along in their careers, these are individuals who can support you in exactly the way you need through their level of expertise, knowledge possessed or even preferred communication style. At Uncommon, we match our members to a “Core” group, a personal advisory board based on their goals, life stage and career ambitions. These groups offer an invaluable source of peer support for members, as they navigate their careers and real-world challenges.

4. Go for low-hanging fruit. If the idea of networking feels daunting to you, Abam suggests going for the low-hanging fruits. At work, get to know your line manager's manager or their key stakeholders. On social media, if you see someone publish a post you resonate with, drop them a message to express that, rather than merely hitting the 'like' button.

5. Reinvigorate dormant ties. Networking can happen within our own networks. In fact, our existing network holds plenty of opportunity and is a valuable source of knowledge and social capital. A "hack" that Yolanda suggests is to scroll through your chat archive and see whom you'd like to reconnect with. Drop them a simple 'thank you' text or share a resource they might benefit from.

6. Contrary to popular belief, networking is not an extrovert activity. Effective networking is more than just having a "personality"; introverts too can leverage their strategic relationships to create a positive impact. Don't assume networking to be this "giant and formal" event in your mind. Networking can happen anywhere (within your office or on LinkedIn), not solely during networking programmes.

7. The next time you feel awkward about or overthinking a social interaction, remember that you’re probably better at social interactions than you think. Ever heard of the “liking gap”? It’s the phenomenon where we believe others are judging us more critically than they actually are in social situations.

8. Remember: your network is as important as the work. The truth is: doing the work alone isn't enough to grow your career, especially as you move into more senior positions. While women tend to be effective doers at work (resulting in what researchers have coined "intentional invisibility"), fostering strategic relationships in your professional circle is just as important in order to grow and get the endorsements you deserve. An example that Yolanda often observes in workplaces is how women tend to take on “non-promotable” tasks like planning office parties or team lunches. She recommends setting boundaries around these types of tasks and focusing your energy and time towards the types of projects and relationships that can get you closer towards your career goals.

   
   

For more useful insights from the conversation, watch the full webinar replay on YouTube and download our discussion guide for additional resources.

We’re building a new type of network for female leader

Uncommon is a private network for female leaders to connect, grow and thrive. Through innovative peer coaching, workshops, curated networking events and industry huddles, you will find the people and insights you need to clarify your compass, maximise your career opportunities and find belonging. Apply to join our membership waitlist here.